You have probably read some of the cynical man vs woman jokes that explain to men how women function and to women how men think. To me, all they do is illustrate the problem. Problems.
I am not a romantic, by any sense of the word. Indeed, I don’t think I have any inkling what being romantic might entail, apart from apparent deceit. I completely fail to understand what value ‘mystery’ has, but that might well be exaggerated by living with the daily deceits of living in China. I come from an environment where understanding self, especially self-motivation, is given value. Therefore I am confused by people whose actions are predicated upon less then complete thinking and who , when challenged to explain their actions, have no coherent train of thought as some sort of audit trail leading to their actions.
Confused? Oh, dear.
I do not have great experience with women. I am now married the second time and thus, in carnal terms, can count just a second example. This is an irrelevantly small sample of women known well. I know some women who, by my lights, think well. Most of those are friends and it is quite possible that I make friends with those who pass some sort of unconscious test. The few women I can persuade to talk about what they want from life give me a list that includes things I do not understand. Such as romance.
Example: we just passed Valentine’s Day. Now that appears to mean heaping chocolate or flowers or some such upon your targeted female. But, unless you live in a society where wealth equates to girth, food in excess is counter to your interests (good looking partner) and ‘flowers’ generally is interpreted as hacking about some otherwise very decorative pleasant plant so it can wither away in short order - so about as transient as the sex act that men will admit to chasing.
I am still confused. Confused at the level of a Monty Python sketch, such as the one where a charity worker asks a merchant banker for a contribution: “What value do I get out of this?” says Cleese the banker. “Why would I give away money for no return?”. Now, bearing in mind that mankind of the male persuasion is accused of thinking “sex” every six seconds (so every sex sick-onds is a good typo and that “the chase is all”1). So if I’m being masculine and honest with self, being romantic means performing as directed because I want a return on my investment later. Which is about as unromantic as possible, surely? So where’s the fun in that? If the game is for all to have as much fun as possible as prelude to possible shenanigans, then let us explore (together) what that fun might entail and get on with it. Giving pleasure may be the best pleasure you can have (a well-learned lesson). Merely satisfying an itch is like confusing lust and love (surely).
Men are from Mars: no atmosphere, bald, cold and far out. Women are from Venus: foggy, impenetrable, hot (and caustic when roused). I’m saturnine, it says in the stars: further out, on the slant, even colder. Saturn-Nine would be Phoebe, Tethys or Chiron depending who you read and how you count. Tethys, please. My zodiac says I’m (just) not Leo(nine). With my hair, of course not. I was going to deny being Virgo but I went and looked it up here and it is scary how close that fits with the perceptions others have of me (in direct feedback). I don’t think I’m quite that introverted, but then I’m writing this drivel, aren’t I?
DJS 20120225
1 “Cause the chase is all you know”, Death Cab for Cutie, Your Heart is an Empty Room.
Also “The chase is all, Miss Havers!” Inspector Lynley Mysteries, 2003
What you’re reading:
Count of hits at 2012 for the most recent 60-80 group; the one is probably me.
Qingdao 1, Ningbo 1, Ganbei 31; Overheard 17; Linear Thinking an amazing 293; Feeling Cold 124 but Into the hills only 18 - is that because of the pictures making access slow? Flocking 10; Behaviour 17; to Ikea 23; Letters from China, 16; Sock Monster 53 On hydration, 14; trail run 14; Flight experience 12; A different Hash 8;
and my favourite, the Lad’s Weekend, still only 23 since I added the ‘been’ counters..
You’re missing the good ones !!
How come Feeling Cold and Linear thinking have so many hits? I rate them as heavy writing, not the fun stuff I expect people to read.
I took the counters out when they were seen to be causing access problems.