On departing Plymouth College it is the custom for a departing member of staff to speak at potential length about (a few of) their reasons for going. One is encouraged, so one was informed, to let rip, to sound off, to criticise the system. I was no exception, at least in the invitation to so allow feeling to be vented, although I had previously attended merely two other functions in the final throes of the teaching calendar despite having worked at the school for fourteen years. A few of my readers may recognise the oddity of sentence construction so far in the current paragraph, for words of a certain length are - so far - excluded. The reason: to reserve the calculated length of written language for words of a significant and particular length, as follows below.
This isn’t that same talk what gave such funs when left last term. This one’s much same, just writ anew. Them what want know why’s self goin’ need know that this mate have prob with same year ever’ year. This year just same, PLUS more kids same poor show. Have used much time with much care: need want must talk thro’ this with folk what know well what must talk, what must have need been said. Task mine. This year been made poor with them acts; have told them tuck, have told them stop four lett word, stop take Lord name vain, have told them walk hall left side, have stop pair from spar, from rant, from fail bein’ nice. Each time have been told “What your prob?”; that make much fuss, well over hill, well past sell date, need else work. Told this many time. Many time.
Gone home. Used mind. Have good race, long bath, wait good idea (like olde Arch, find bath help idea). With that time, felt kids must have said good word, good idea. Have come some idea what they mean. That self need move. Brit kids rude: true. Some work, many don’t. When tell them must work, they says rude word; when tell them must have good deed, rude word. Most kids tell self says rude word when play Army – that okay with self, then. Them also. That Okay. Then. Then only. Else, must keep mind stay near task, stay calm. Rude word mean fail.
This year kids tell self that self much away from line. Line hast been made move, thus self away from line. Prob: don’t feel have left line, feel self much same. More over (oops, near miss then), sure self same tack this time. Must have folk move with time – left self play like olde year. Don’t feel that olde, many year left this body. Time move away, must move anew. Went look; find jobs. Goin’ soon, like next week. Goin’ East, like well away. Will miss much. Will miss Army; will miss Band; will miss nice auto. Won’t miss kids here. Won’t miss that year want hate, that year what does hate, that year what have only four char: Year NINE.
Nuff said.
Ciao.
It doesn’t actually require great practice to either speak or write in words of the required length or different to the length. Of the two, working in one given character set is the harder thing to tackle. Perhaps it should become a parlour activity, a pub drinking pastime. The funny thing is, while venting temper in style, it doesn’t require one to actually swear.
DJS - delivered, presumably 200707, typed around 200711
Related stories, Reasons, Wine to Water, Moving, Four letter Word rides again
Sunday, 15 July 2007
