I have long enjoyed Verse and Worse. Here is an offering off the right hand end of that scale, written Feb 2008, shared June 2010. My children’s comments, where repeatable, were along the lines “Oh...”
What you do - for those not already inclined to do something else - is attempt to read this out loud and listen to yourself. This activity quite possibly has a name in psychology texts. Hopefully, what you hear is somehow familiar.
Or not.
There is a tie din they’re a fare sough men
witched aken gnat thief Ludd leats on tough or tune;
no ‘mitter t’all thief oi urge off there lie fizz bound - inch hallow sanding miss or ease.
Once a Chaffle see ah wee no waffle oat
An dreamers taketh a currant when it surfs,
earl ooze half-inches
Julius Caesar IV, iii, 217
If mu sick be thief udder luff, blay yon:
Giff mere ex cesser fit, that surf fitting,
They’re rapid hate mace sick en, ants oh dye.
That’s train erg N ! It adder dye ink-full:
Oh! It game o’er May year liketh as wheat’s houndeth
at Brie thus a bonner ban cough aye (oh, lets)
‘s Tea, Lynne gander give ink Oder ! Enough! Gnome o’er:
Tizz knots oh suite now Oz - it was be four.
Oz be Ritter fluff! How quick end fraiche art the Howe
That a knot with Stan ding thigh cup ass it tea
Reece if Eth adze thus see, naught inters they’re
Rough watt val oddity an dip itch so err
Butt fall sin t’wer a bait meant and lope rice
Eve an dinn erm, innit; Sophe uller shay puss his fan see,
That Titter loan his siphon testicle
Twelfth Night, opening verses
May I recommend Mother Goose’s Nursery Rhymes - Mot Guesses Rames, from the D’Antin Manuscript. one of which (from memory) goes something like this:
Un petit d’un petit s’étonne aux Halles
Un petit d’un petit - ah! degrés te fallent
Indolent qui ne sort cesse, indolent quine se mène
Qu’importe un petit d’un petit tout Gaie de Reguennes
...and, after that dash of class, here’s my awful attempt to do something similar in Chinese:
Hong yi su er ke mali pensa
Red one white two (plants) at full speed (is) sprayed
Er ke se an da wai yua li er se ke wei da re er ke se kui ren dipian huai ci kui rendao tuotai mazi xi tai ma za ta
This muddle headed person has left many spots large and small on the photo for an exam; he thinks the pockmarks will represent a lucky decay of humanity. He is odd!
This added 21011203:
Yi1 feng1mi4 you1 si4 ke3 bi2zi fu3dao3 fu2le feng1, bu lai2 yong4 gei feng1mi4 er zi si fei te4
One bee is dead but (since) the nose coaches paid wasps, do not come apply. Give the honey twice dead a special flight
Presumably this is about the use of honey after the queen has died or moved on. The Nose is perhaps the smoke gun used by bee-keepers as seen from inside the hive and the reference to wasps may be the effect of the smoke, to ‘see wasps’.
...of course, any better suggestions are very welcome and I will declare them as yours.
The first of these is supposed to be Honi soit qui mal y pense.
As for the second, I have no idea either - my Mandarin has come a long way since I wrote this (a year or more).
I think it says “Ask and why.. secure... doubt..time” but I cannot find whatever it was I thought this said. You find it and I’ll attribute it.
“Ask and while you only ask...?”
If music be the food of love play on; give me excess of it, Twelfth Night 1,1,1