07 - Ineffective Invective

I came across a pathetic example of a hotel in Cambridge, close to the station. Both the notice outside and the internet site declare there to be evening meal, internet access and parking. For some twelve to twenty rooms, there is parking for five cars – and one of those spaces is taken by the staff.  The locality has parking restricted pretty heavily to residents, with one (not obviously known to those manning Reception) short stretch of road 200 metres away available for 2 hours only between 0800 and 1700. So restricted parking. Throughout my four-day stay, the internet connection was ‘down’. You would forgive me for disbelief that this was unusual, since the evening meal was not on offer either. Perhaps meals are delivered via the internet? This then, is not a hotel: my understanding of that word is that that would mean at least two meals are offered each day. I f only breakfast is served, then the term is B&B; clear when expanded, succinct in compression and above all, accurate.

A combination of Poles and those recently from the Indian sub-continent meant that at no time or place was there good, clear communication. It may be that this is a precursor of life to come in Britain, where the struggle with a common language reduces us all to the lowest common patois. Given that we have a generation already that cannot spell, having been convinced at school that ‘communicating is more important than spelling’ (and somehow missing both of those and any idea of correct grammar), that common basis for language is going to be pitifully low. Using ‘hotel’ incorrectly is just a minor example of what is to come.

The effing that is scattered so liberally in the speech of the ineffective communicators of our society demonstrate that there needs only be one adjective and only one emphasis word. Moreover, there was an excellent article from the Guardian last year on the F-word, which explained how it qualifies as noun (I don’t give a F), verb (F that), adjective (Fing wonderful), adverb (let’s Fing do it) and expletive (F!!). Say goodbye to language, for the all-encompassing F-word replaces it; say goodbye to conversation, for the tv has displaced it. How long then before transmissions, in reflecting our nation and its viewers, are reduced to similar monochromatic language? Is this a dumbing too far?

Eff it; I’m effing off, in the vernacular.

In-eff-ective invective, indeed.

DJS             20070725

Closely connected to the previous page, on rowing.

Thursday, 2 August 2007

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