87 -  Hashing in Laoshan

Hashing is a very odd activity, for “Runners with a drinking problem”.  39 - On Hash and 62 - A Different Hash tell some of the story. This directs itself at the Qingdao hash group. From within my own experience I’d say this is one of the more polite groups, with a good sense of fun, enough but not too much drinking and activity but not so much it is overwhelming.

Our hashes (note the possessive) generally begin in the same place each week, a hotel lobby in the city centre. A little over half the time the hash then moves to the adjacent bus stops and the group goes to the hash start. Email and texting gives others a chance to start at this week’s ‘begin’ point; Qingdao is a big place but the bus service is good and 30-45 minutes bus ride gives a large area in which to work.

At the start point, the Hares for the day describe briefly what is included; they, or a member of the Mismanagement, will explain the routine to ‘virgins’; on-route dots, checking circles, false trails, arrows and so on. This hash has various routines: false trails are one-dot, two-dot then X [Shout “On ONE, On TWO, Oh Shit”, or if on the right trail, “On ONE, On TWO, ON-ON”]. A circle with a dot inside means go back one dot—great for taking people to a viewpoint—and try again. Dots are supposed to be laid when the trail runs straight, but can be used to accommodate all sorts of meandering, especially if the ‘next’ dot is laid on the far side of an alternative route. Corners can be managed with two dots in close succession. It is very helpful to route followers, especially the FRBs, if dots are evenly spaced. One good trail layer puts a dot reliably at every 40th same-foot pace; another puts dots where he thinks you need them. What matters is some sort of consistency, such as placement. But then the Hare (the Burke of the Week) has a chance to say something about that at the start. Or has nominated a proxy to do that.

Last week 2FF and HoHo (me ‘an her) laid a trail backwards (end to start) so we pointed out that perhaps we had inadvertently put dots where they were well-hidden in the route direction and to be careful. We also pointed out distinctions between Runners and Walkers routes (though the Runners’ routes are crisper)—on this occasion there were several splits mostly of difficulty of terrain, not a change in distance. Two weeks earlier we laid a trail that had so little in common between the two routes, about 800m and the short length including the beer stop, that it was really two trails on the same day.


At the end of a hash, the On-In, beer flows and a circle is made. Bit of a probble in China, me old chum, as group collections are generally a bad thing as they are assumed to be political and therefore banned. The circle has a structural form, as organised by the Religious Adviser; this varies with club but in general, the RA (or the RA for the day) makes up the rules (there are no rules). At QDHHH (website easily found from that clue) the usual format goes like this:

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Vote on the Hash - Hares have to drink after a vote on the route whichever way the vote goes
Last week’s hashers  (those who hashed last week)
Last Week’s abstainers (those who didn’t hash last week)
This week’s virgins (not yet included; they are welcomed officially and must drink from a shoe—and if you can’t cope with that, you won’t cope with hashing).

Rewards and punishments, typically from this list:
FRBs (Front-running Bastards, usually whoever was first in on the last stint, no matter what lead was held at the beer stop,
Snails—last in, possibly by division, i.e. last runner, last walker, last lost person.
Smoking on the hash
Sitting on the hash
Peeing on the hash
Shopping, mobile phones, umbrellas...,     whatever is the pleasure of the RA
One regular penalty in QD is Chinese on the Hash, or
not-English—it is supposed to be an English-speaking (shouting) club!!
Awards for fashion good and bad
New Shoes (drink from the left shoe)

then there’s Narking; put your cup on your head and wait a turn to moan—but the narker must make a sound case and must share drink with the narked—this can go on a bit and often picks on the Hares as a (sort of) thank-you.  There’s s a poem about this, the Shunting of the Nark¹.

And at the end of all that, there are the Notices (if you’re well enough to Notice them) and the Hash Anthem, which is Swing Low but with body movements that are hilarious. And repetition; humming, silent (very funny), double speed, in another language…  a version on youtube


Every round of reward or punishment within the circle is accompanied by a song and a down-down for those in the circle. The RA drinks a LOT. The songs are all salacious. Some are clever: “Dough, my dear, to buy my beer, Ray, the guy who pours the beer...”, some pick on races “Me no likee Blitish sailor”, “All Australians are born illegitimate”, some downright uncouth; “Asshole, Asshole, A soldier I will be..” And so on. We have song-sheets but we keep forgetting where they are, and there are several songs where the collective has no idea what the tune is - it all adds to the fun, I think, but that opinion may not be held by those who toast in water rather than beer.

Occasionally, someone collects a Name , which is pretty messy and requires the name to be voted on by acclaim. Unfortunately that does not always result in the best names being awarded and convention requires the hasher to have no part in picking the name. They’re often plays on words and almost always have salacious undertones, while at the same time reflecting some attributes of the hasher under scrutiny—well, under flour, anyway.

DJS 20120606


2FF - Too Fuckin’ Fast, one less than 300 in hexadecimal
HoHo  - Hop On, Hop Off, a lover of buses (and busses)
QDHHH has pretty good names; picking just two from those pictured above (and at least five nationalities in the pic) Well Hung Jury is a lawyer and his wife Pleases the Court.

1   site:www.austlit.edu.au shunting nark  givers a hint of existence; The Shunting of the Nark single work poetry "When Adam delved and Eve span". Author: U. Issue Details: First known date: 1907… so based on John Ball’s speech of 1381 (peasants’ revolt)

Thumbnail pic, of Safe Semen being named. He is by profession a ship surveyor.

© David Scoins 2017